I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSONCalvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
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Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?
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MOMMMM, I’m thirsty… What’s this, just water?
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Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
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Calvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity.
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I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I’ve got to go to school the next day. It’s like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.
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Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
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Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.
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I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
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I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
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Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
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Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
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Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
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[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
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Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
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Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
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Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.
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You know, maybe we don’t need enemies.” “Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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Even when you look for it, you’re never prepared for it.
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Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes.
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
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