Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
ELLEN DEGENERESI’ve learned 2 things about tv. It’s always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
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There is something about TM. It is the only time I have that stillness… It gives me this peaceful feeling-I just love it so much.
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You have to have funny faces and words, you can’t just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that’s why it’s hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
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I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
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When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
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The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.
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I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
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For some reason, we can’t just enjoy somebody else’s success. Somehow, that’s going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less – and I don’t know why.
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I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
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I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
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Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
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I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness – and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world.
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Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
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I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
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You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
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If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
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I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
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I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
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Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
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There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans
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I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.
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Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
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In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
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My hair is always at its best in New York. I don’t know what’s in the water. It could be mousse.
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Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES