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Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.

Ellen DeGeneres

You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dresses Funny Humor
Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party Sorry Wall
If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Numbers Phones
Above all, I strive to be the best I can – to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Best Tomorrow Yesterday
Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Inspirational Lessons Yesterday
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Law Lawyer Legal System
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Ideas
It would be horrible to live with someone who didn’t like the same things you like.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Horrible Like Things
I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Home Humor
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Spring Want
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Whistling
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Inspirational
I hate having to do small talk. I’d rather talk about deep subjects. I’d rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Hate Meditation
Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Honesty Inspiring Kindness
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor
In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Know Mean Pants Size
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Day Enjoy Growing Mistake
I know that experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Experts Flying Frightened Hurt Less
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dancing Music New Orleans Without
I don’t think I remember my first memory.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Firsts Memories Thinking
I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Cute Funny
There is something about TM. It is the only time I have that stillness… It gives me this peaceful feeling-I just love it so much.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Giving Peaceful
I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Editing Team Writing
I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness – and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Beautiful Inner Peace Trying
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor

Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.

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Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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