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Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

Brendan Behan

Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Determination Men Suicide
God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Family Forgive Men Mother
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

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Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

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Popular Authors

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