There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
BRAD WILLIAMSIf you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
More Brad Williams Quotes
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don’t pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
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I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
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I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That’s the constant. That’s the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
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It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
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There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.
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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to – everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
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If I do talk politics it’s very surface, it’s not in-depth.
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Every now and then we’re going to fail.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
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I don’t get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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I don’t take too many things too seriously.
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I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
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I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
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I don’t know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It’s very confusing to me.
BRAD WILLIAMS