Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAMI know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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Love is all about… whistles.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
BO BURNHAM







