Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAMI love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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