I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGETMet a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
More Bob Saget Quotes
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET -
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET -
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET -
Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET -
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET -
It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
BOB SAGET -
My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET -
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET -
What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
BOB SAGET -
I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET -
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
BOB SAGET -
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET -
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET -
I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
BOB SAGET -
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET -
It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET -
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET -
I love my mom! You can too for $12!
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET -
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET