“Sure, companies say they’re sensitive to their employees’ cultural heritages, but show up on casual Friday wearing a necklace made from the ears of your vanquished enemies and all hell breaks loose.”

When you think about it, there is really a fine line between being a proctologist and just being a perverted ass-freak. And according to the judge who sentenced me, that line is called a ‘medical degree’.

So then you feel bad and go back to the addictive behavior to get more dopamine. The strange thing is that it works with what we think of as uppers and downers and whatever you call gambling – sidewaysers.

Women are like wine: I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.

I’m all for getting together with men and women in small groups around Scripture and letting it just wash over us, but for me, I’ve been meeting with the same ten guys for like 15 years now, but we don’t have a Bible study every Friday, we have a Bible doing.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

The government’s view is that the best time to announce bad news, news that it doesn’t want the public to dwell on is late on a Friday, when it will wind up in the Saturday papers, which if you were readers, then the week day editions. A holiday weekend is even better.

The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.

The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.

I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.

Friday the 13th…I’mma play Jason!

A rap pro, do a show, good to go, also Cameo afro, Virgo, domino, I go Rambo, Gigolo, Romeo, Friday night spend money on a ho…tel, To get a good night’s sleep, I’m keeping in step. Now do I come off? Yep.