“Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T”

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.

Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.

You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?

From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.

Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.

I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.

Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!

I get on fine with my mum and dad, but if they want to see the grandchildren, they come to me.

My hometown is 30,000 people. It’s remote, but it’s an oil town, so it’s developed. There’s definitely a mill mentality: not a lot of people leave. It’s a lot of long hours, shift work. Even my Dad, who’s a dentist worked hard, because that’s what people do up there.

My dad is a chemical engineer, and my mom was a teacher. They were pretty serious about education, but I always thought about things a little bit differently.

Back in high school I told my dad, “I’m going to have a computer someday.” And he said that it cost as much as a house-the downpayment on a house. And I said, “Well, I’ll live in an apartment.”

My dad told me this: You get out of it what you put into it. If you put in effort and log your time, you’ll get the results.

I would like my Dad to be alive so he could see what I am.

I’d say people get to work and start being more understanding of everybody – instead of calling everybody names, start being more understanding. But get in there and get it done. Kick ass and take names. And this may be my dad talking, but don’t spend what you don’t have.

I was built up from my dad more than anyone else.