That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
BILL WATTERSONBarney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
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Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
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It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.
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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
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To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.
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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
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At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
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I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON