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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …
BILL HICKS

Messages Scary World
Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
BILL HICKS

Country Government Stupid
If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
BILL HICKS

Behind Day One Tomorrow
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.
BILL HICKS

Believe Creating Order Planet Purpose
…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
BILL HICKS

Beliefs Children Religion Sorry Superstitious
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
BILL HICKS

Belief Funny God Humor Rush
I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
BILL HICKS

Country Deals Salute
I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
BILL HICKS

Flying Southern Towns
I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Mean
I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
BILL HICKS

Government Sorry Talking
Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
BILL HICKS

Church Ideas Revolutionary Thumbs
The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
BILL HICKS

Dream Jeans Three
Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They’re sick, they’re not criminals. Sick people don’t get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.
BILL HICKS

Criminal Drugs Jail People Sick
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
BILL HICKS

Country People United States
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS

Happiness Ideas Laughter Revolutionary

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

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