“We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!”

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.

What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?

Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.

I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!

Sixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.

I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.

I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.

I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.

I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.

To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.

[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.

The first show I ever worked on was The Killing, which was a whodunit crime show.

I don’t know what being a 48-year-old feels like. There are a lot of 48 year olds that aren’t in good shape. The pharmacy is making a killing off of them.

Science leads you to killing people.

At the end, killing is killing. Massacring is massacring.

We are facing an external attack against us, which is more dangerous than any other previous wars… We are dealing with those who are extremists, who only know the language of killing and criminality.

And, unfortunately, the cruelty and killing are often justified through a distorted interpretation of religion

We are living in times when technology, biology and chemistry have created the possibility of killing in large numbers.