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Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet

Bill Watterson

I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Ideas Recognizing Success Trying
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Refuse Wonder World
I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
BILL WATTERSON

Behavior Encouragement Friendship Modification
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON

Autopsy Bigs Mouths People
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON

Doubt Listening Nagging
I’ve been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.
BILL WATTERSON

Amazed Ideas Mind Wander
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
BILL WATTERSON

Accomplish Funny Life Motivational Nothing
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
BILL WATTERSON

Graduation Real World
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .
BILL WATTERSON

Forest Intelligent Reading Thinking
You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
BILL WATTERSON

Chemistry Design Ingredients

Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet

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Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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