“Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.”

Critics have said I write without spontaneity, in cold blood. I don’t. I write in hot blood.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.

I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.

I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.

There are a shitload of songs about being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and I talk about weed and my cat and being lazy a lot.

True ideas are those that we can assimilate, validate, corroborate, and verify. False ideas are those that we cannot

Love is all about… whistles.

I’m just ready to keep going.

I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

Many like me who operate in black America can only get our balanced story told nationally on BET talk shows.

I`m very cautious and very concerned about what I have initially seen, but I also believe we`ve got to organize like we have never organized before.We talk about it, but realistically, we`ve got to organize at the grassroots level.

I do not believe what I see on television. I believe a percentage of it, so it’s hard for me to discern. I don’t like what it’s doing to the world.

I don’t regret anything. I feel like I’ve made what I would call mistakes.

My own childhood showed me that when it comes to loving your kids, concepts like that don’t apply.

They wrapped her up like a baby burrito to show to Mom. Here were a mother and her daughter and I love them both so much.

I know I need to exercise. For some people, exercise is like breathing; for others, like me, it takes effort.

Don’t bring your sand toys to the park. That’s another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I’m on the Vicodin and a little weed too – let’s face it – and I go in there, and my wife’s like.