Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
BILL HICKSHow come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego.
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs…shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a ‘well-regulated militia’?
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I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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You ever seen somebody do that? I’ve seen someone do that. Let me tell you something – if you’re smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I’d think about quitting. And that’s just me, ya know.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
BILL HICKS







