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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Bette Midler

I’m the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.
BETTE MIDLER

Easy Lasts Tacky
If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
BETTE MIDLER

Laugh Laughing Slave
I loved the photographs of people wearing elaborate makeup and costumes – they really pulled at me inside. I was in that library every week for years, until I was about 13. I had a rich interior life, because I didn’t have much of a social life.
BETTE MIDLER

Books Costumes Love Photograph Until
Let the sun stop burning, Let them tell me love’s not worth going through. If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, The only dream that mattered had come true …In this life I was loved by you.
BETTE MIDLER

Life Love Romantic
I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.
BETTE MIDLER

Inspiration Memorable Tonight
Here I am, one of the most colorful women of my time – if not of my block – being made to sound positively legumelike in printed interviews.
BETTE MIDLER

Block Positively Sound
Do you want to live and work in a garbage dump? I don’t. That’s partly because I grew up in the most pristine environment possible – Hawaii, where it is sacrilege to leave your garbage on the ground.
BETTE MIDLER

Dump Garbage Possible Wanted
It’s a different world now: Stars come and go quickly, and there are so many of them. I read a statistic that all the record companies combined used to put out around 3,000 albums in a year. Now they put out something like 30,000!
BETTE MIDLER

Different Stars Years
Sold my soul. Bought these devil chains.
BETTE MIDLER

Chain Devil Soul
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
Self-esteem is something you have to earn! The only way to achieve self-esteem is to work hard. People have an obligation to live up to their potential.
BETTE MIDLER

Hard People Self Esteem Work
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
BETTE MIDLER

Age Birthday Funny Mind
I have a ball – and it keeps my heart rate up. I get to wear fabulous clothes. I get to make people laugh. That’s my core business, and that’s where I’ll always return.
BETTE MIDLER

Clothes Heart People
I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.
BETTE MIDLER

Cadillacs Couple Sex
I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!
BETTE MIDLER

House News Stories Watches
I’ve forbidden my daughter to have grandchildren, I’m too young.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Grandchildren Young

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes