“I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!”

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.

I made a lot of people laugh, made a lot of people cry in a good way, brought a lot of joy to people, picked up a lot of garbage. And in all those years, I saw a lot. I went to foreign lands. I met interesting people. And I got it!

I don’t need anyone to write me a show in my style, I would like to do a show in a style that wasn’t my style, because that’s the only way I can grow up and grow out.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities, and that’s why I’m on TV. I wasn’t going to sit around anymore, waiting for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place – I’ve always done that.

Without passion, the powers-that-be can run roughshod over you.

A lot of people started drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes because they felt it was cool.

I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?

That’s our mission: to clean and green New York City – one block at a time.

I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

As you age, feelings do diminish.

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

I’m looking for something that gives me a chance to stretch. Because I have my own work, and I can do anything I want in my own work – juggle, tap dance, anything I want.

I always look old when I work because I get so upset and tense that my face wrinkles up like a prune, I can’t stop it.

In a marriage, you struggle and struggle and struggle, and then you realize that you have to ride the horse in the direction it’s going. You stop trying to pull the reins in another direction.

People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

Child mortality since 2000 is down by 2.65 million a year. That’s a rate of 7,256 children’s lives saved each day. It drives me nuts that most people don’t seem to know this news.

Often because the attempt to practice it is misunderstood, discouraged, brought under attack, or made a target of willful abuse.

As sad as it may be to admit, in our modern world people are far more accustomed to hearing news of war, genocide, murder, disasters, famine, and disease

I’ve always loved news. I’ve always loved storytelling and being where the scene is.

She’s a person; the doctor pronounces her dead, not the news.

I don’t want the news to be patriotic. I don’t want to see flags on the lapels of the anchors. I don’t want any of that.

You know all those dangerous mutants you hear about in the news? I’m the worst one.

When the news wants to tell you something is important, they put dramatic theme music behind it. They scare you into watching the story.