“I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.”

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.

I made a lot of people laugh, made a lot of people cry in a good way, brought a lot of joy to people, picked up a lot of garbage. And in all those years, I saw a lot. I went to foreign lands. I met interesting people. And I got it!

I don’t need anyone to write me a show in my style, I would like to do a show in a style that wasn’t my style, because that’s the only way I can grow up and grow out.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities, and that’s why I’m on TV. I wasn’t going to sit around anymore, waiting for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place – I’ve always done that.

Without passion, the powers-that-be can run roughshod over you.

A lot of people started drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes because they felt it was cool.

I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?

That’s our mission: to clean and green New York City – one block at a time.

I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

As you age, feelings do diminish.

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

I’m looking for something that gives me a chance to stretch. Because I have my own work, and I can do anything I want in my own work – juggle, tap dance, anything I want.

I always look old when I work because I get so upset and tense that my face wrinkles up like a prune, I can’t stop it.

In a marriage, you struggle and struggle and struggle, and then you realize that you have to ride the horse in the direction it’s going. You stop trying to pull the reins in another direction.

People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

I don’t like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

I know only two tunes: one of them is ‘Yankee Doodle’, and the other isn’t.

In ’92 I got my first coach and had it for two, three years. My wife hated it.

The love of nature is a different thing from the love of science, though the two may go together.

I had a chance to win $2 million, a week after high school graduation, and if I turned pro, the sponsor was going to financially support me.

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.

There are two distinct styles requisite: I intend, in the course of my career, if I have time, to give a specimen of both.

The biggest obstacle was mixing abortion with overpopulation. These are two things that have nothing to do with each other.