“Without passion, the powers-that-be can run roughshod over you.”

I’m mad about God! That’s why I’m divine.

If I don’t feel right about what I’m in, I don’t feel right about anything.

[On Denmark:] … that little country of cottage cheese and courage.

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

The [film] business is run by men, and they’re basically interested in their own species, and they’re not so interested in women belonging to the human race.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.

I believe that Judy Garland’s artistry was so fine. I mean, when people say: ‘oh, she brought so much of her life to her music’, I don’t really believe that. I believe that she didn’t have to. She just was a moving human being. That was her gift.

I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.

If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.

Most people are walking around the city like corpses; they aren’t alive enough to notice the trash. They come from other places and they see it as a big garbage dump.

Find your Light; They can’t love you if they can’t see you

I hope to keep entertaining in some way until I can’t physically entertain any longer. It’s what I was born to do, and I love this profession.

One of my first role models was Eugene Lang, a wealthy businessman who went back to his elementary school in East Harlem and addressed the sixth-grade class. He looked out at that sea of faces and said, “If any of you wants to go to college, I will pay for it.”

You don’t have to spend the entire day hunched over your computer consuming this information.

Sometimes we hear it said that ten minutes on your knees will give you a truer, deeper, more operative knowledge of God than ten hours over your books. What! Than ten hours over your books on your knees?