“A fool will study for twenty or thirty years and learn how to do something, but a wise man will study for twenty or thirty minutes and become an expert. In this world, it isn’t ability that counts, but authority.”

The supernatural can be very annoying until one finds the key that transforms it into science,” he observed mildly… “Come on, Ox, let’s go out and get killed.

Blessed are the idiots, for they are happiest people on earth.

Error can point the way to truth, while empty-headedness can only lead to more empty-headedness or to a career in politics.

Don’t be ashamed of reliving your childhood, Ox, because all of us must do it now and then to maintain our sanity.

I shall clasp my hands together and bow to the corners of the world.

Immortality is only for the gods,’ he whispered. ‘I wonder how they can stand it.’

The greatest act of faith we are capable of is that of loving another more than we love ourselves, and occasionally we can be quite good at it.

I have never been able to understand why perfectly sensible people waste time being wittily obscure instead of just saying what they want and going on about their business.

The emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone loved to hate, and Heaven had blessed us with two of them.

Fable has strong shoulders that carry far more truth than fact can.

Our senses are woefully limited. Our brains are but tiny candles flickering in an infinity of darkness. Our only wisdom is to admit that we cannot understand, and since we cannot understand we must do the best we can with faith. which is our only talent.

I’ve been given a second chance in life, and I don’t want to let a minute go by without enjoying it.

During the shooting of a scene the director’s eye has to catch even the minutest detail. But this does not mean glaring concentratedly at the set.

America looks 10 minutes ahead; Japan looks 10 years.

But when I know that the glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious.

So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

Truth has no finality to it. It is not something to be held on to. Truth is discovered minute to minute or not at all.

A few minutes ago, you knew who you were-you had a history and a personality-but from this place of not knowing, you question all of that.

You know, an hour and fifty-four minutes is too much for audiences. They get nervous.