“It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.”

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

It’s hilarious a lot of times. You have a conversation with someone, and he’s like, ‘You speak so well!’ I’m like, ‘What do you mean? Do you understand that’s an insult?

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.

When a man begins to be hilarious in a sorrowful way you can bet a million that he is dyeing his hair.

Shakira is a new friend, but I love her dearly already. She’s so sweet and adorable and hilarious.