This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
TINA FEYMy standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
More Tina Fey Quotes
-
-
Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
TINA FEY -
I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
TINA FEY -
In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
TINA FEY -
When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
TINA FEY -
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
TINA FEY -
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
TINA FEY -
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY -
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
TINA FEY -
‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
TINA FEY -
And I can see Russia from my house.
TINA FEY -
I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
TINA FEY -
If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you’re asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.
TINA FEY -
I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
TINA FEY -
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
TINA FEY -
If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
TINA FEY -
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
TINA FEY -
Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
TINA FEY -
When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEY -
When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
TINA FEY -
I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEY -
Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY -
Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
TINA FEY -
Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
TINA FEY -
Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
TINA FEY -
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
TINA FEY -
When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
TINA FEY