Death loses its terror if one dies when one has consummated one’s life!
IRVIN D. YALOMHe had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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We project ourselves into the future through our children; we grow rich, famous, ever larger; we develop compulsive protective rituals; or we embrace an impregnable belief in an ultimate rescuer.
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The drive for power is not uncommonly motivated by this dynamic. One’s own fear and sense of limitation is avoided by enlarging oneself and one’s sphere of control.
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Many people are in despair because their dreams didn’t come true, and they despair even more that they did not make them come true.
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Rather, love is a way of being, a “giving to,” not a ‘falling for”; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person.
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If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.
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Every person must choose how much truth he can stand.
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There was a time in our lives when we were so close that nothing seemed to obstruct our friendship and brotherhood, and only a small footbridge separated us.
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In a study we did of bereavement, we found that rather impressive numbers of widows and widowers had not simply gone back to their pre-loss functioning, but grown.
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Some have expressed the very opposite feeling–the fear that they would not be interesting enough to write about.
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Mature love is loving, not being loved.
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Live your life to the fullest; and then, and only then, die. Don’t leave any unlived life behind.
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There are borderlines and there are borderlines. Labels do violence to people. You can’t treat the label; you have to treat the person behind the label. (17)
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A focus on this deep dissatisfaction is often the starting point in overcoming death anxiety.
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Pandora’s box, but to re-enter life in a richer, more compassionate manner.
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Death anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.
IRVIN D. YALOM