“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.”

Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”

North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.

I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.

It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?

Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.

Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.

Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.

You can’t control things by being nervous.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.

You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

To drink beer is to be human.

Beer is sacred business, a mood-altering food substance that may have preserved the human species.

You are a funny man! Beer is women’s work.”

Anyone who has ever walked upright has loved beer, celebrated over it, told talks over it, hatched plots over it, courted over it.

Beer was the driving force that led nomadic mankind into village life.

We may not know who is craft beer but we sure as hell will know what is craft beer by who isn’t.

And it occurs to me that if I were aboard a rowboat floating in the middle of all the beer I’ve drunk in a lifetime,

Beauty is in the hand of the beer holder. Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.