You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
TINA FEYSometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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And I can see Russia from my house.
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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
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An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
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Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.
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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
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(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
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A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
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For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
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I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
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In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
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Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
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There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable.
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
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Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
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You can’t control things by being nervous.
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My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
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Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.
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I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
TINA FEY