“I know that instructional time is a zero-sum game, but if we want kids to do well academically, it’s hard to imagine that happening if they don’t have some control over their attention.”

So when my daughter told me on the second track meet that she was done with it because she discovered she didn’t like competing, I made her finish the season.

The focus on just thinking about standardized test scores as being synonymous with achievement for teenagers is ridiculous, right?

People who are really gritty – they’re still interested.

Most people who are really, enduringly interested in something eventually find that it’s important, too – and important to other people.

Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.

When people tell me I can’t do something, I have a visceral reflex to say, ‘Yes, I can.’

I think the questions on the grit scale about not letting setbacks disappoint you, finishing what you begin, doing things with focus, I think that those are things I would aspire to or hope for for all our children.

Striving is exhausting. Sometimes I do say things like, ‘I wish I were not quite this driven to be excellent.’ It’s not a comfortable life. It’s not relaxed. I’m not relaxed as a person. I mean, I’m not unhappy. But… it’s the opposite of being comfortable.

If you are a young person who is wanting to develop a passion, you cannot expect anyone else to tell you what that passion would be.

To me, the most shocking thing about grit is how little we know, how little science knows, about building it.

There are so many things that kids care about, where they excel, where they try hard, where they learn important life lessons, that are not picked up by test scores.

My dad was not super-intentional in his parenting. He was very self-absorbed. I won’t say mean or selfish per se, but very self-absorbed. I think he was just thinking out loud.

Boredom is a very self-conscious emotion by definition. Interest is not. So you can actually be completely absorbed in something and, at certain points in your development, not even realize that you’re into it.

There are no shortcuts to true excellence.

Psychologists call this the maturity principle. My own life experience fits this principle to a T.

I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something, and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.

It’s been our goal as a program to always give our players the best opportunity to be successful, whether it’s personally, academically, or athletically.