Mature love is loving, not being loved.
IRVIN D. YALOMThe spirit of a man is constructed out of his choices.
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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It is wrong to bear children out of need, wrong to use a child to alleviate loneliness, wrong to provide purpose in life by reproducing another copy of oneself. It is wrong also to seek immortality by spewing one’s germ into the future as though sperm contains your consciousness!
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Live your life to the fullest; and then, and only then, die. Don’t leave any unlived life behind.
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When people don’t have any curiosity about themselves, that is always a bad sign.
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Mirroring, softly, barely audibly, just under the membrane of consciousness.
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Marriage and its entourage of possession and jealousy enslave the spirit.
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Not to take possession of your life plan is to let your existence be an accident.
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Since then mountains and torrential rivers and whatever separates and alienates have been cast between us, and even if we wanted to get together, we couldn’t. But when you now think of that little footbridge, words fail you and you sob and marvel.
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I think we ripple on into others, just like a stone puts its ripples into a brook. That, for me, too, is a source of comfort. It kind of, in a sense, negates the sense of total oblivion.
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If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.
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This is what makes us human. But it comes with a costly price: the wound of mortality. Our existence is forever shadowed by the knowledge that we will grow, blossom, and, inevitably, diminish and die.
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Death anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.
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Your greatest instrument is you, yourself, and the work of self-understanding is endless. I’m still learning.
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Death, however, does itch. It itches all the time. It is always with us, scratching at some inner door.
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I feel strongly, because a man who will himself die one day in the not to distant future and, also, as a psychiatrist who spent decades dealing with death anxiety, that confronting death allows us, not to open some noisome.
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Rather, love is a way of being, a “giving to,” not a ‘falling for”; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person.
IRVIN D. YALOM






