If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
QUENTIN CRISPKeeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
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Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
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Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together,
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Manners are love in a cool climate.
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
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Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.
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The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
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One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
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Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
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Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It’s not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it’s the resentment that settles on your face
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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
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The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it
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Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
QUENTIN CRISP