The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
QUENTIN CRISPIn England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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If I have any talent at all, it is not for doing but for being.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
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I take it to be axiomatic that people are revolted by witnessing the shameless gratification of an appetite they do not share.
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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
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The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
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The flagrantly gay Quentin Crisp dealt with homophobic bullying by refusing to bow to its onslaught. His number listed in the phone directory, he responded to derogatory remarks accompanied with a stated intent to kill him by asking, “Would you like to make an appointment?”
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In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
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Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
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The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it
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Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
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Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who…have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): “What’s the matter, sexy? Don’t you like dehydrated fruit?
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Happiness is the only thing I understand.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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I never saw Portsmouth by day.
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No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
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Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
QUENTIN CRISP