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Happiness is the only thing I understand.

Quentin Crisp

I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, “What did they teach you?” And she said, “They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room.”
QUENTIN CRISP

Admit Ask Been Burn Came Candle Country Drama Empty English Girl Out Room School She Taught Teach
The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
QUENTIN CRISP

Country Do Expect Happiness Impression Live Not Time
Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
QUENTIN CRISP

Alone Down Drag Father Full Kepp Level Mother People Realize Time Until Year
I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Act Meant Really Say Them Word Would
The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Children Returnable Trouble
The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
QUENTIN CRISP

Being Consume Deliberate Desire Hand Human Most Other Person Plant Some
People say to me, “When did you come out?” But I was never in! When I was about six, I was swanning around the house in clothes that belonged to my mother and my grandmother which I’d found in an attic, saying, “I am a beautiful princess!”
QUENTIN CRISP

Around Beautiful Cloth Come Dis Grandmother House Mother Out People Princess Say Six Swan
I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
QUENTIN CRISP

Amaze Back Later Myself Pay Recieve Sitting Som Substantial Sum Talk
Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically – for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist – but then what isn’t?
QUENTIN CRISP

Altruistically Basic Block Building Good Lie Manner Mutual Ofcourse People
The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
QUENTIN CRISP

Capacity More People Love Stretch
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cologne Diplomatic Euphemism Truth Unpleasant Wear
I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
QUENTIN CRISP

Being Force Have Imagine Keep never Orbit Planet Revolve Simple Stop Sudden
What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
QUENTIN CRISP

Happy Like Must Only Person That Truly Were World
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
QUENTIN CRISP

Always Anyone Last Longer Love Wary Weekend
To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
QUENTIN CRISP

Blessing Live Miss Opportunity Pass Today Tomorrow
Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cloth Condition Ever Fabric Indeed Indifferent Most Much Our Part Though Too

Happiness is the only thing I understand.

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Happiness is the only thing I understand.

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