“If you’re so smart, let’s see you get out of the Army.”

You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.

Without losers, where would the winners be?

There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.

If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.

Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.

The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It’s that they stay out all night looking for it.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

I’ve tried to give a dollar and 25 cents in work for every dollar paid me.

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

If I’ve got a good pinch-hitter, I hate to have him stay on the bench with men on the bases in an early inning. He may end the game right there.

Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.

You’ll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him.

I think people who grow up in one particular environment, like the Alabama-Auburn game, they don’t ever get the same appreciation for the Ohio State-Michigan game or the Michigan State-Notre Dame game or the Michigan-Michigan State game, the Browns and the Steelers.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

Also, when you get made fun of-when people point out your weaknesses, it’s an opportunity for you to rise above.

From day one, I got addicted to being on stage and getting the applause and laughter.

I’m definitely not getting married. In this business, you’re either getting married or they want you to be pregnant. I’m not getting married until I’m forty. If ever.

I’m not getting married until I’m forty. If ever.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.