Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
P. J. O'ROURKE