Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
P. J. O'ROURKEWhen elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE






