Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKEGay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point, complexity is fraud. You can apply that rule to left-wing social programs, but you can also apply that rule to credit derivatives, hedge funds, all the rest of it.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
P. J. O'ROURKE