I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKEGay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
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Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
P. J. O'ROURKE