Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
P. J. O'ROURKEEven very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKE






