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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

P. J. O'Rourke

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bureaucracy Dispose Dump Government Propose
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Being Brat Irresponsible Spoil World
What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bell Flower Occupy Person Pocket Search Small Vase
Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Advocate Animal Association Head Lice National Own Prediculosis
The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Brilliant Everything Midwest Most Notice Proposal Satire Straightforward Time
I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Dirty Enough Now Old Over Remember
Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Artistic Country Impact Life Tremendous Woodstock
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Chief Device Increase Mechanical Number Particularly
Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Business Cancer Country Nice Place Show Southern Spread
Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Boomer Generation Hope Millennial Run
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Biological Child Each Fact Fatherhood Mother Requires Well
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adult Deal Great Health Mind Other Slow Spoil Turn Word Young
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bay Country Effect Small Tribe
Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
P. J. O'ROURKE

College Seriousness Stupiditym Sent
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Horizon Many Toledo Tree
It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Always Better Fun Make Someone Sure You
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Creep Economy Enfeeble Evil Image Individual Law Rule
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Benefit Divorce Good Long Married Stay Sympathy Ter
Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fault Invent Liberal Major Psychology Sociology Study Women
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bright Feel Good Government Look Quit Side
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Government Illegal Product Sell
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Animal Children Eat Exception Human Purpose
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Government Make Mystery People Stop
The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Carry Country Crow Exile Extermination Law Passage Perpetuation Savery
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Favor Invasion Mush
Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Actual City Country Give Kind Nearly Over Pretty Strik Top
The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Big Each Era Shirt Thought

Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

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