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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

P. J. O'Rourke

The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Act Enough Government Idea Pay People Whole
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Another Brief Death History Impeach National Out President Thousand Worry
America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Accuse Act Behave Being Country Engage Unilateralism
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Attempt Believe Hypocrite Man Moral President Redistribute
Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Expert Leader Nothing Political Say
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adult Deal Great Health Mind Other Slow Spoil Turn Word Young
Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Death Enough Escape God Help Important Jeep Son Therefore Wrong
Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Boomer Generation Hope Millennial Run
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Again Anything Behaviour Done Experience Learn Sixties Stupid Think
Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Benefit Bring Hero People Rich Wealth
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Draft Duty People Political Politician Select Self System
Regulation creates a moral hazard.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Create Hazard Morale Regulation
Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Agriculture Business Dinner Fertilizer Grant Indian Overall Politics Thanksgiving
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout
I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Dump Observant People Rather Secular
Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Everybody Everything Happy Idea Insane Law Liberal

Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

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