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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.

P. J. O'Rourke

Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Everybody Everything Happy Idea Insane Law Liberal
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bureaucracy Dispose Dump Government Propose
You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Critics Most President Serve Something Stupid Usually
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Belt Cigarette Government Hazard Helth Kill Many More People Set
Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Just Mean Plenty Serious Subject
Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Corporal Introduce Let Punishment School Tracker Use
Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Birthday Card Christmas Funeral Funny Greeting Need Save Send
I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Got Little Love Simple Straightforward Thing
You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Detroit Down Elite History Think
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Attempt Believe Hypocrite Man Moral President Redistribute
The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Brain Community Enthusiastic Immediately Join Minute Somebody Suffer
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bit Difficult Express Fiction Government More Past Size Something
Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Affair Force Great Human Stupid
Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Business Cancer Country Nice Place Show Southern Spread
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Draft Duty People Political Politician Select Self System
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.

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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.

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Popular Authors

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