A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
P. J. O'ROURKEWhen buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKE






