Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
P. J. O'ROURKE






