Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
P. J. O'ROURKEA U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
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The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that’s the point.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKE