But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN CORENDemocracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
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It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
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Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
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Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN COREN