10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN CORENDemocracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
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Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
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Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
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English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
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Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
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The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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