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You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.

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My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
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Brother Children Hate Only Child Sister
I mean, I hate to gloat, but I’m extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me.
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Extremely Gloat Hate Life Mean Opposition Out Satisfy Thing Work
So that’s why one of my rules of parody writing is that it’s gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
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I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
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Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing
I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.
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Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.
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So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?
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Differently Kind Somebody Thing Tries Upset
Didn’t have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.
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Honesty Nintendo Pour Salt Snail
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
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I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
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Actual Best Most Obvious Route Sometimes Try
A lot of my cartoon voices are basically just variations on my natural voice.
AL YANKOVIC

Basic Cartoon Natural Variation Voice
A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.
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Artist Supportive Year
As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”
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April Day Excuse Fool Man never People Wise
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
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It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.
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I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
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Book Career Child Picture Pretty Raed Same Time Want Year

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