“It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.”

I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”

Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’

I’m obviously not a rapper, and I don’t have any claims to be one, really.

I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits – and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!

I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.

They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.

So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they’re not afraid of wolves.

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

Don’t give up! Be friends with people who help you work hard.

I don’t sit around with my friends and talk about money, ever. On a record, that’s different.

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Remember my friend, that knowledge is stronger than memory, and we should not trust the weaker

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway?

Let me tell you, my friend, that there are things done today in electrical science which would have been deemed unholy by the very man who discovered electricity, who would themselves not so long before been burned as wizards

Though my friends envied me because I always seemed so cheerful and confident, I was secretly terrified of practically everything.