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I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.

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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
AL FRANKEN

Aftre Bank Being Die Happen Heaven
And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn’t take their advice.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Big Certain Climate Coal Denier Doctor Food Other Paid Snack
I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
AL FRANKEN

Ask Celebrity Couple Despite Fabulous Fresh Job Kep Month Once Seven Thing
I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
AL FRANKEN

Cream Handle President Soda Want
That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.
AL FRANKEN

Bad Else Everone Itself News Our Democracy
The way I see it, I’m not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I’m going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.
AL FRANKEN

Country Democrat Go Minnesota Second Senator State Way
Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.
AL FRANKEN

Call Disinformation Disinfotain Entertain People Spread
There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
AL FRANKEN

Afraid Ballot Check Circle Mis-fill Our People Subset Tend Voter Wrong
Anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user’s date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.
AL FRANKEN

Access Address Anyone Birth Connection Dollar E-mail Estimate Few Income Information Internet never Obtain Personal User
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
AL FRANKEN

Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
AL FRANKEN

Amendment Apply Corporation Fourth
The news movement conservatives that are just laying out, slathering out the disinformation and the lies, as I discuss in my book, ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.’
AL FRANKEN

Balance Book Conservative Discuss Disinformation Fair Just Lay Lie Like Look Movement News Out Slather
My mom sold real estate and did it part time.
AL FRANKEN

Did Estate Mom Part Real Sold Time
The only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.
AL FRANKEN

Accurate Financial Job Objective Only Project Rating
We owe an historic debt to American Indians. They have a unique set of concerns that haven’t been addressed and I’d like to stand with them. Also, I’d like to get their views on immigration.
AL FRANKEN

Address Concern Country Debt Historic Immigration Indian Like Unique View
I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.
AL FRANKEN

Country Liberal Most Reclaim Think Want

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