“Google might be doping the horses.”

And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.

And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.

Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.

I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.

Whining is anger through a small opening.

The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had.

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.

My mom sold real estate and did it part time.

I thank God for Hip Hop because Marvin Gaye didn’t have that and he was able to be that dope. For us to have that and more, I feel like it is up to us to be as dope as we can possibly be.

Reading was like a drug, a dope. The novels created moods in which I lived for days.

I was playing a part of someone dealing dope on a street corner – and there was a guy actually dealing heroin right there. I looked at him, he looked at me, and I got real confused.

I pissed away over ten million dollars.

On dope and crack I passed away deader than a door knob But now I’m back

I would pick Kendrick Lamar because he is so dope as an artist and I love his hustle and his passion.

In this state, dig it, you get twenty years for sale of dope to a minor. You only get five to ten for manslaughter. So like, the thing is, if you’re selling to a kid and cops come, shoot the kid real quick!

Smoking dope and hanging up Che’s picture is no more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting postage stamps.