“A fool and his money get a lot of publicity.”

Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.

If I were the commissioner of all sports media I would issue an immediate ban on three-person announcing teams on telecasts of live sporting events. In almost all cases three is one voice too many.

The voice of experience keeps its mouth shut.

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Should the beholder have poor eyesight, he can ask the nearest person which girls look good.

We treat this world of ours as though we have a spare in the trunk.

Beauty is in the hand of the beer holder. Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.

Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.

Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done.

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.

To the victor belong the responsibilities.

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.