I started out with nothing and I still got most of it left.
TOM WAITSThe dog won’t bite if you beat Him with a bone.
More Tom Waits Quotes
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Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
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If I exorcise my devils, all my angels may go, too.
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I’ve been riding on the crest of a slump lately.
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Writing songs is like capturing birds without killing them. Sometimes you end up with nothing but a mouthful of feathers.
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Arithmetic arithmetock Turn the hands back on the clock How does the ocean rock the boat? How did the razor find my throat? The only strings that hold me here Are tangled up around the pier.
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My wife called me a mule. She once said, “I didn’t marry a man; I married a mule!” I kept thinking about it. It was in the back of my head. I think it makes a good title for an album.
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There’s always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.
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We are all just monkeys with money and guns.
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A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.
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If there’s one thing you can say about mankind, there’s nothing kind about man.
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People get frightened that success is going to take them out of life. They’re no longer going to be on the corner of Bedlam and Squalor; life will only be something you can get through the mail.
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I always liked the idea that America is a big facade. We are all insects crawling across on the shiny hood of a Cadillac. We’re all looking at the wrapping. But we won’t tear the wrapping to see what lies beneath.
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I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.
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I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.
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If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it’s good. I’m not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don’t cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don’t stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you’ll never see it again.
TOM WAITS