“There’s always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.”

Living with kids is like living with a bunch of drunks. You know you really have to be on your toes all the time. Things are falling over and breaking and spilling. If you live on the second story, you really have to keep the windows shut all the time.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

I made a wish on a sliver of moonlight A sly grin and a bowl full of stars.

The folks who know the truth aren’t talking. The ones who don’t have a clue, you can’t shut them up!

It’s very hard to stop doing things you’re used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.

I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.

Come down off the cross, we could use the wood.

The average person spends two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change.

Children make up the best songs, anyway. Better than grown-ups. Kids are always working on songs and throwing them away, like little origami things or paper airplanes. They don’t care if they lose it; they’ll just make another one.

I’ve been riding on the crest of a slump lately.

Never have your wallet with you onstage. It’s bad luck. You shouldn’t play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.

The earth is not my home, I’m just passing by.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Never trust a man in a blue trench coat, never drive a car when you’re dead.

Got a head full of lightning, a hat full of rain.

I’ll tell you all my secrets but I lie about my past.

But difficult situations and wrong choices conspire to trap us in hopelessness.

I must be careful not to get trapped in the past. That’s why I tend to forget my songs.

The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection.

Don’t fall into the trap of studying the Bible without doing what it says.

I’m a bird trapped in a self-made cage.

Your future is not ahead of you, it’s trapped within you.

You can cage the songbird, but you can’t make her sing. And you can trap the free bird, but you’ll have to clip her wings.

Sometimes it is the spider that feels trapped in the very web she weaves.