You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
ADAM FERRARAMy father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
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I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
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As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARA