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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

Dick Cavett

It’s a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.
DICK CAVETT

Artificial Function Human Situation Tribute
The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.
DICK CAVETT

Information Kill People Place Sound
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.
DICK CAVETT

Damage Goodness Talk Time
William F. Buckley was a man who had a great capacity for fun and for amusing himself by amazing others.
DICK CAVETT

Amazing Capacity Greatness Man
The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show… Cops would come by – often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
DICK CAVETT

Administration Eyes See Sight
It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
DICK CAVETT

Himself Person Rare
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Joke Mystery Process Result Study Subject
Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.
DICK CAVETT

Oneself Performance Scene Show Tragedy
You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you’re stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, ‘Hey, you’re great! What’s your name again?’
DICK CAVETT

Name Street Surprise Time Yourself
I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
DICK CAVETT

Eat Food Hungry Myself Power
Coming up through the ranks of any calling can be rough, but that battered soul who survives the early years of courting the comic muse comes close to knowing what only the soldier knows: What combat is like.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Court Early Known Rank Rough Survive
I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
I find most ‘sacred music’ pretty dismal.
DICK CAVETT

Finding Music Myself Sacred
Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Heart Life Music Straight

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

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Popular Authors

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