I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
DICK CAVETTI don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
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Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
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Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
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Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it’s painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it’s extremely painful.
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Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.
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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
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I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests’ books.
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While other kids were out playing and doing healthy things, I read an ancient judo book with a neck hold that was fatal to so many people they finally dropped it from judo.
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I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.
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In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.
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Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’
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I find most ‘sacred music’ pretty dismal.
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Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
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A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
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Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
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Every writer knows that unless you were born gifted with either supreme confidence or outsize ego, handing in your work holds, in some cases, admitted terror. If that’s too strong, at least fairly high anxiety.
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I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
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Greatly talented performers don’t know – often spectacularly – what’s best for them, don’t know what their talents really are, and don’t know what’s just plain wrong for them.
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I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
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Every so often, there is an article saying the old kind of talk show isn’t possible now. In the oldest kind of talk show, you only had the choice of that or two other channels!
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By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.
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You can, after all, reduce the reasons for watching TV to but two: to be lulled, and to be stimulated. Some people do one sometimes, the other sometimes. Some people do all of one or all of the other.
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I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
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I hate Danny Kaye movies.
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I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.
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The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
DICK CAVETT